Sunday, February 15, 2009


I am a stranger in my own skin.  When I gave the one I truly love my heart, I didn't know I was going to lose my soul.  Recently, I remember how it was to put a smile on my face, the feelings when you begin to truly laugh and have the people around you laugh with you.  The joy the night brings when loved ones remind you how to square dance, or how a new friend brings a gift with nothing expected in return.  I realized the "little kid" that has been around was to remind me of how I once was.  He was there to remind me of my innocence, the naive mind that yearned to learn about life.  Others saw it as refreshing, I saw it as how old I've become.  
When I enjoyed the other night, I remembered who I was but the difference is, the stranger I've become I cannot walk away from.  Its a path that I've taken and though the things I felt were vulnerability, loneliness, depression, or being numb, I am stronger because of it.  I may need to rebuild my heart but along the way, I have friends who remind me the good I have in myself even when all I see is the bad.  
On that note, I will always love my ex.  I've never been so happy in my life.  I may have become a stranger because I felt like something has been lost but, it doesn't mean I haven't found joy in the life I've already lived or forgotten about it and, the life I will continue to experience.   

Thursday, February 12, 2009


I am numb to the situation.  I no longer feel anything no matter how much you push and pull me a direction I and, possibly you don't even know.  

I am numb anything I used to love doing.  Nothing excites me anymore no mater how much I love the activity, you're not there to share it with me. 

I am numb to feeling anything with anyone else.  When I'm with anyone who shows any affection my way, I am thinking of you.